I admit that I rarely remember my dreams. I wake up without the vaguest notion that I’ve dreamed at all during the night. Every once in a while, though, I wake up with this thought: “Well, that was weird.” That happened last night. I went to bed early–way early for me, about 8:30. When I woke up after this dream, it was 11:30, so I still had a full night to get more sleep. Yay, me!

Anyway, here’s what I remember of the dream. I was at home. Not my home, where I’ve lived the past 4 years, not even in Arizona where I’ve lived for over 12 years. No, I was at the house in northeast Ohio where I grew up and lived until I was 28. (My parents just couldn’t get rid of me…) It was warm and things were green (from the standpoint that they weren’t dead and barren), so it must have been late spring/summer. I was in the yard (my parents have 3 acres, all grass) and a small plane crash-landed in the lower yard area, farthest from the house. It didn’t burst into flames or anything, but I had the impression the pilot didn’t survive. I yelled and told our housekeeper (what?!) who was outside with me to go in the house and call 911. She did. (I have no idea who this person was, as we never had any sort of housekeeper or employee of any kind.)

Then another plane started coming down, nose first, but it wasn’t crashing. It was flying that way. It “arrived” close to the wreckage, flew toward it and then past it, still with the nose pointing to the ground. So it basically mowed the grass as it went. (My mom would’ve been grateful, I think.)

As it went out of sight, I became filled with fear and ran toward the house. I could hear the plane, flying now (no longer mowing the grass, darn it–mowing 3 acres was not my most favorite thing to do) and I realized I’d never make it to the safety of the house in time. So I dove underneath the bushes by the front porch, for cover. (Bushes that actually haven’t been there in probably 25-30 years.) Then as I looked toward where the crash had happened, I saw a man in a Hawaiian shirt and khakis walking toward the house. Either the shirt was black and white or I was dreaming in black and white, which I think was the case, because I don’t remember any impression of color in this dream. The man was…Bruce Campbell. Not Bruce Campbell in real life, but like Bruce Campbell playing a character. Or a character who looked like Bruce Campbell.

Why Bruce Campbell you ask? I have no fricking idea. I hadn’t been watching any shows that he was in, I’m not a particular fan (though I enjoy his performances), so I’m not quite sure why he showed up in my dream.

But, seriously, a lawn-mowing airplane and then Bruce Campbell? Yeah, weird. And apparently scary, because I woke up with my pulse pounding in my ears. No kidding.

Now the dream I had with James Spader is for another post…

What kind of weird dreams have you had?


HEART OF THE DEMON is available this Tuesday, February 26th! You can order it online or pick it up at a bookstore near you.